my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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