just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
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