the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
