And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
