'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
