Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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