The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
