i barfeds in our rink
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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