drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
