So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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