He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its about making memories worth repressing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
