Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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