just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
