love makes seman taste better
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
