youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
