The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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