Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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