So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
