If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i drank out of a bidet.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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