is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
