a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
