It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
