Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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