You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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