I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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