I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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