no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
