and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
