Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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