i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
