we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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