can u get pink eye on your cock?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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