hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize