HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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