3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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