If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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