im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
