Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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