I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
