Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
