I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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