I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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