Sry I called you an 8
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is wine microwaveable?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
