they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
