Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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