your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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