hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
