ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I did not marry a roomba.
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