Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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