I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
