You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
