So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
