I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
