Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The Olympian is in my bed
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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