I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
