Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
