id be glad to
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
