Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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